In Memory

After his battle with cancer, Mr. M's dad has finally passed.

Not sure of funeral information yet. Just know we're having it in Houston where dad lived and will spread his ashes out on Gatamora (sp) Bay where he liked to fish all the time.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

One Year

Wow! Today is the one year anniversary of my mom's passing. The time has just flown. I was glad though that I mentioned to her that we were trying to concieve. So even though she's not here she knew.

Love ya mom!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Dad's Declining Health

I know, I know... it's been awhile. And although this is my first post in many months, it's not a fun and happy one... sorry!

I figured I would give an update on Mr. M's dad since the first time I posted something. He's not doing well. Mr. M's brother (we'll call him Mr. W) was doing a hell of a job taking care of him in Houston. Taking him to all of his many Dr's appointments, feeding him through a tube that's in his stomach etc. But it was getting a little too much for him to handle every day on his own. Long story short, dad was admitted to a hospice there in Houston. But still the sole burden was on Mr. W.

So about two weeks ago, with the approval of the Dr, we flew Mr. W and his dad to Dallas. A local hospice in Fort Worth picked them up from the airport and dad has been there since. Mr. W. has since gone back to Houston, packed up the apartment they were sharing and moved to Dallas and temporarily living with us until he can find somewhere to go.

Dad's health is definitely declining. His memory is starting to fail him and he's trying sooo hard to not forget things. He has everyone write things down for him, to the point that everyone's name is also written down "Mr. W - oldest son. Mr. M - youngest son" etc.

We had a small scare last Friday when we received a call from one of his nurses saying he had 36 hours left. We called one of Mr. M's aunts to let her know and she flew down that next day. Of course here it is Tuesday and he's still kicking. Telling ya, he's fighting! ;-) Not sure truthfully how much longer he'll win the fight though. I watched the same thing with my mom. In fact I was telling my sister that if he makes it to next Tuesday it will be exactly one year from when she passed.

Anywho, it's just hard going through this again only a year later. Here's another wish for the overall cure for cancer.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Great Day Out!

Yesterday was my birthday (I take monetary gifts, thanks! hee hee) and Mr. M and I took the day off. We slept in for a bit and then had breakfast at Crackel Barrel. Man I love their hashbrown casserol.

Then we had a Noon appointment at the Dallas Museum of Art to see the King Tut exhibit. We got there about an hour early so looked around the regular parts of the museum. The King Tut exhibit was pretty cool. We opted for the audio tour which gave a little more information than the plaques hanging on all the relics. The last 4 or 5 rooms had nothing but the things that were actually found with the boy King. If you go don't look for the big famous golden mask or casket, its not there. The three things I thought were the coolest. 1. To find out that there were actually 7 (or so) caskets/coffins in all before you got to the mummy. 2. The mummy has never left the Valley of the Kings. 3. One of the pieces they had on exhibit was a little game board that he used to play with and had buried with him to take to the afterlife.

After we were through with the King we met up with my sister who is currently working downtown. Now I didn't bring my camera to the museum because I knew there was absolutely no photography allowed. However I wish I had brought it cause sis took us on a mini tour of parts of downtown Dallas. We ate at a pizza joint (it was ok to me) and then just looked at different buildings and such. Besides having to stop every 30-45 minutes or so so I could pee we really had a good time. Oh, and she brought me a beautiful orchid for my birthday.

That evening we had my birthday dinner at Red Lobster. Man I love crab legs!! And was surprised by a chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream with a candle on top.

I really enjoyed my day!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Time With Family

Mr. M and I went to visit my brother and his family for Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed seeing everyone under better circumstances than the last time we were together. Sis was able to join us as well. We played games, ate well and enjoyed each others company.

One thing we did do while I was there was visit a known site where I live called Cadillac Ranch. Out of all the years I lived in Amarillo I had never visited. So we piled into cars and headed out for a visit. I was really surprised at how many people were out there. We passed some guy walking out who gave us his left over spray cans. We stolled down for pictures and a bit of non-illigal spray painting. Below are a few pics.

The only bad thing I hate about going out of town is we have to board M&M. But we really like the place that we found and we always buy her a few country walks while she stays there. I think she was really happy when we picked her up. I grabbed a few shots of her enjoying the wind in her face on the car ride home, see below.

Hello!

As for the cats? Well they are very self dependant. Make sure the cat liter is clean. Have plenty of water and food around and their good to go. Actually I think they really enjoy having the house to themselves. We had one full day at home upon our return without M&M and I think the cats were just soaking it up. Here C-Girl is enjoying her very own home made box bed. :-)

Comfortable!

Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Ding, Ding... Round 4

About 4 years ago we lost Mr. M's mom... two weeks after she passed we lost Mr. M's step-dad... in June I lost my mom.... now Mr. M's dad has found out he has cancer.

About a month or two ago his dad discovered a huge "ball" protruding out of his neck. Supposedly there was no sign of this "ball" it just appeared. His brother took dad to the Dr. to get it checked out. They didn't really say cancer but they wanted to schedule an operation to get rid of it.

About a week or two later something was wrong with his knee and he was in so much pain that he needed major medication to make it go away. I forget what they said they thought that was, but they had to reschedule the operation for the neck.

Well today was the operation. They are saying for sure it is cancer. I'm unsure what all the details are so not sure if they got it all - I would hope so. But I do know they took half of his vocal chords which means he won't be able to speak more than a whisper.

As I said I'm unsure of any other details. But it really sucks to think that I was just starting to go through all of this with my mom this time last year (I remember cause I threw a fit that I missed Halloween). And of course the first part of this year was the stress of it all. Just as I figured the rest of our year could get back to half way normal (minus the holidays coming up) we now have to deal with it again.

Mr. M told me the other day that if he could have one wish at all - he would wish that everyone who had cancer would be cured and there was no more cancer.

I second that wish!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Thank you!

Thank you to all of my friends and family who have responded to my most recent post about my mom.And although it was a rough few months I did enjoy the few bits of quality time I got to spend with mom. In the beginning when she was living in a nursing home close to me we had Thursday night get togethers. Mr. M and I would cook her a nice meal and we watched Survivor and Lost.


We had a small memorial back where I grew up. We drove up on Tuesday and the memorial was on Wednesday at the church I went to. My mom only had one wish if we had a memorial for her and that was for a certain lady to play the piano for the songs. Luckily she was still at this church. I did good up until the music.

I did spend a few extra days at "home" with my brother and his family. Under the circumstances that was a good time. Mr. M and I stayed at a local hotel and so my brother and his kids came over one afternoon and we played in the pool. It was a little chilly but a constant play of Marco Polo helped warm us up! :-)

When we got home I had a notice on the door that flowers had been sent and were left at my neighbors. Surprisingly they still looked very good (above). They were sent from my job - nice bouquet huh?

Today was my first day back to work. A bit awkward. Friends want to say sorry but don't know what else to say... Got a nice card from my department (among others of course) and found out they had taken up a collection of money and asked where I would like it donated. As we had indicated in her obituary we've asked for all donations to be made to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. They said they collected almost $150!!! That's incredible!

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their prayers and support over the last few months and especially this past week. I know she's in a good place and no longer hurts.

Love ya guys!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

In Memory

To my mom

October 18, 1951 - June 9, 2008

She's now with her Heavenly Father.



I love you mom and will miss you dearly!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

An update

Well since this post mom seemed a tad bit better. Although its still rather hard to understand her when she "talks" as its mostly mumbling. Every now and then she might say a word that is a little legible.

I did go see her yesterday after work and read a couple of letters to her from her best friend from back home. She seemed to kind of understand it. One of the nurses came by to check on her and she told them to go away so I could finish the letter. She then asked me to write a letter back to her bf. It was very short and I kind of didn't understand some of it.

It's interesting what she does remember and what she doesn't. Every time she mentioned my name when I was writing a letter she would spell it as if I didn't know how to spell it. She did ask me who I was so I guess she still doesn't really remember who I am.

Well I got a call from her hospice nurse today. She told me that her blood pressure and heart rate is not where its supposed to be. And basically she thinks she has about 5 days or so left. Of course this can all be a guestimation...

So anywho I was unable to concentrate on work so I decided to leave. I came home and ate a little lunch and now I'm gonna go take a nap.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

What a day of hell...

Before I get started it might be beneficial to clarify one thing. Of course you know that mom is under hospice care. One of the main things about being under hospice care is that if anything happens to mom: broken bone, having a heart attack or anything like that 911 is not to be called first - the hospice is to be called first. Okay to the update...

Thursday morning on my way to work I received a phone call from one of the nurses to let me know that mom had fallen again (she had fallen 2 days prior but was okay). This time they were a little concerned because her blood pressure had fallen really low and they wanted to know if I would like her to go to the hospital to be looked at. I asked "have you talked to the hospice? I can't do anything unless the hospice says so". The nurse (who's english is not really good) said, "yes the hospice doctor said it was okay for her to go if you wanted". So I said okay. I called Sis to let her know. I went to the nursing home and mom was very red and sweating very badly. And walking around.... the nurse got her to sit down and asked her if she knew who I was. She was basically whispering gibberish but didn't recognize me. Told the nurse "I was pretty".

I rode with mom in the ambulance to the hospital. Sis met us in the ER. The Dr. said her potassium was very high and that her sodium was low. They wanted to get mom's potassium down so wanted her to stick around for a couple of days or so until they got it down. The whole time we were in there mom "talked to herself" and seemed to be (lack of better words) seeing things. She was very thirsty but they wouldn't let her drink anything so she was drinking imaginary drinks with a straw, handing it to us and say thanks. She seemed to be walking with her walker a few times and petting a pretty dog. The only time she really spoke loudly was when the nurse or someone tried to do something she evidently like she would tell them to stop.

After being in the ER for about 4 hours or so mom was moved to a room where of course they try to take her blood just about every hour or so to check her potassium. She continued her talking to her self and getting a little sleep. Of course Sis and I had to keep her from trying to yank out her IV.

Now I mentioned this was a day of hell. I don't think mom was aware of what was going on so this day of hell was for me and Sis. And here's were the "real" fun came in.

Sis got to wondering why noone from the hospice had come up or called us to check on things. So I called mom's hospice nurse and asked if anyone would be coming to the hospital to check on mom and the nurse was not even aware that mom was at the hospital - this was the first time that she had heard anything. So I told her what happened this morning with the nursing home nurse and asked when she would come up - it wouldn't be till the next morning. Sis then wondered if we could have the 24/7 hospice nurse to watch mom since we didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone. The hospice nurse said her office was closed so she wouldn't be able to set up anything until the next day. And that we couldn't do it while mom was in the hospital, if she was at the nursing home they could. But I could call the main 800# for the hospice and see if the on call nurse might be able to arrange something.

So I called the on call hospice nurse (from now on - h.n.) and told her what was going on and could she help. So she did some calling and said yes. She could have a 24/7 nurse at the nursing home at 8pm. We talked to the hospital nurse, Rachel, and told her that we wanted mom released. She said that the Dr. would be against it and we said we didn't care we wanted her released so she went to call the Dr. so we could speak to him. Sis spoke with him and he basically argued with Sis that it was a bad idea to release mom until her potassium came down. We told him that mom is under hospice care and that she should not have come to the hospital in the first place so we wanted her released. He said he would have to get a social worker from the hospital to come in and have her released since he was not there and that he would talk to Rachel to get that started. A bit later I questioned Rachel about how long it would be for the hospital social worker to come in. She said she didn't know, they're on call so who knows. A little later there was a shift change and mom's new nurse was Kim. I asked Kim if she knew how long it would take for the hospital social worker to come in she said she didn't.

I received a call from the h.n. saying that the 24/7 nurse was at the nursing home (n.h.) and they were unaware that mom was coming back so could I call to let them know. So I callled the n.h. and told them that we were in the process of having mom released and she would be coming back. the n.h. said they needed one of the nurses from the hospital to call them and let them know what all had been done to mom so they could have for their records.

So i went out to the nurses station and was talking to one of the nurses (not kim or rachel) and told them we were waiting for the social worker (s.w.) to come so we could have mom released but in the meantiime we needed a nurse to call her n.h. to give them an update on her etc. The nurses i was talking to looked a little shocked and said there wasn't a s.w. on the way in. I pointed to rachel who was still there and said "we were told by at least 2 people that a s.w. had to come and sign us out so we could release our mom so we could leave". A s.w. hasn't been called????? nope!!!!! As a matter of fact we don't need a s.w. to sign us out we needed to sign an AMA (against medical advise) form! Well get me a form to sign! Oh and could one of you call the n.h. to give an update on my mom - NOT rachel or kim!

So one of them came in with a form - oh and btw if she's released they can call an ambulance to transport mom but it wouldn't be paid for because we're leaving AMA. What?!? Doesn't Medicaid (which mom is under) pay for it? Don't know. so I call the h.n. back and tell them what's going on now. does she know if medicaid pays for it? she's not sure let her do some checking she'll call me back. she calls back and is unable to find an answer but suggests that we ask to speak to the hospital s.w. via phone as they should know. So I ask to speak to the hospital s.w. and they get one on the phone. I told her about trying to get mom released and how we were first told that we had to have a s.w. release us and now we were doing an AMA but the ambulance wouldn't be covered etc. She was shocked and apalled by what had happened. OH And this was the first time she had been called. I also told her about Rachel and Kim and she was taking down names and everything. She says she remembers looking at moms chart when we were in the ER and was wondering why were there since she was under hospice care. She asked me if mom was with such and such nursing home and i said yes. She said that unfortunately this is not the first time that this n.h. had called 911 for a hospice patient. She told me she was unsure if medicaid paid for the ambulance but she knew the phone number to the company so she was personally going to call one for us. She would check the next day to see if it wasn't covered and if it wasn't she would make the n.h. pay for it. We finally got mom back to the n.h. about 10pm or so.

Sis and I saw her last night. She's a little more coherent than she was last Thursday but we don't think she still really recognizes us. She was kind of talking but it really didn't make that much sense. She was telling us that we needed to go away so she could get ready for work. She snapped her fingers to "call security" to escort us out. She hadn't really eaten anything yesterday was drinking a lot of liquids though. Her hospice s.w. called me today to say that she had eaten a little today. She said that they'll just monitor her to see if she continues to go down hill from here or if she kind of stays at this stage.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Survived!

Mr. M has survived his first two days at the new job!!

He still has a few jitters from new job anxiety but I think that is so to be expected. I think it will take a good month or so before he really knows what needs to be done and have a real feel for things. But I can understand the "not knowing" especially after the many years he had with "old job"

His first day happened to be held half a day at the Main Event for meetings (which of course he was clueless about) and then afterwards there was fun and games!

The place sounds cool though. They have a cafeteria that serves several items to choose from including hot food (better than eating out of a vending machine). And they have computer games in the break room. Now that's a company that wants to make their employees happy!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Last Day!

Friday was the last day for Mr. M at his "old job". Of course there wasn't much for him to do. I was trying to get some work done and he kept calling me to walk around and such. I am gonna miss that.

Most of his department and one of the Executives took him to lunch (which btw I was not invited to go to - hello, I'm his wife and we do happen to work at the same place - but anywho). They presented him with a small token of "appreciation". Kind of hard to explain but it has a small little plaque (sp?) on front that says "from your friends at old job" or something similar. Then there is a little globe thing at the top that if you turn it one way is a clock and then if you turn it the other way the entered the old job's logo (we can remove this later if we want). Mr. M showed it to me when he got back from lunch and told me he was fighting back the tears. He then asked if he was doing the right thing and he felt bad for leaving. I told him that it was too little too late. They should learn to show how much they appreciate someone while they still work there - not after they've put in their notice and have their foot out the door.

Of course that evening was a time for celebration. Small group of us met at a local restaraunt for a bit to eat and a bit to drink. Most called it kind of an early night (well if you count 4 hours of celebration an early night) and started on their way home. Mr. M and I went to the house of one of the ladies who works with us and basically sat in her jacuzzi all night (another 3-4 hours). It was really nice and we had a good time.

We both have Monday off to do some shopping for new clothes to wear at the new job. Mr. M did a bit of re-cooping yesterday. :-) And is fighting allergies/cold - poor guy. I just hope that it clears up before Tuesday on his first day at the job.

OH! And he got a call from new boss to talk about day 1. He and his team will be meating at the local IHOP in the morning for breakfast and get to meet everyone. That evening they are going somewhere for a little team building to play some pool and have a few beers. I told Mr. M that he is definitely in a different company. I hope they keep that up - I bet it makes their employees happy!!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Moving On!

Well after what seems like an eternity, Mr. M has finally found a new job!!!

He received his offer letter yesterday, signed it and faxed it back in, then gave his notice!! He's been looking forward to that for months.

His last official day with current job is Friday, April 11. His first official day at new job is Tuesday, April 15th (which btw is our 2 year wedding anniversary).

So congratulations on the new job honey, I'm very proud of you!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Had a great time!

I know, I know... I'm a little behind with details of my Easter weekend! :-)

Brother and family came into town on Good Friday and we got their car all unpacked. Then I took him and his wife to go pick up mom so they could see her living arrangements. Mom was so glad to see him, went straight past me to hug him. I guess I can't blame her. Friday was a little tough for her. She was just sooo anxious that she kept having to lay down and take a few power naps. Mr. M grilled some fajita meat and brother made an enchilasagna. Man, we had way too much to eat.

Saturday was absolutely beautiful so we packed up a few drinks in a cooler and headed for the park that's around the corner. It has a huge playground that brother was really impressed with. We took lots of pic's of the kids playing and well of us playing in it as well. :-) We flew some kites and just had a good ole time. Unfortunately we weren't really thinking very well as none of us put on sunscreen so a few of us went home with a sunburn - yep I was one of them. That evening we took everyone to a wood burning pizza place. Now most people who know me know that I really do not like pizza (only cause when I met Mr. M he ate it just about every day) and I really like this pizza. Then we walked it off around the shops there. Mr. M and I bought matching rings at James Avery - actually his idea, I think that's pretty cool. Kids and I colored some boiled eggs when we got home. No plans to hide them I just wanted to color them!! Nothing like the smell of vinegar.

Sunday was a bit cooler outside and we just decided to stay inside and some watched tv (mostly the kids) and most of the adults played games. We played Train Dominos, Hand & Foot and Clue. We were going to make a turkey but we still had so much food leftover from Friday that we decided to eat it down. OH! And my sister had brought over some of those special eggs. You know the ones that are hollowed out and filled with confetti? So sis, brother and I were outside grabbing a few in our hands. I went inside and told all the girls that they needed to put on their shoes and come outside and get some fresh air, they'd been watching too much tv. So we waited till they all came outside and then we got em! It was great fun and M&M thought it was the best. There was sooo much running around going on. We did have to go around the yard and pick up the big egg peices cause she kept trying to eat them.

Monday we played a few quick hands of Uno before they left. I took mom back to her place. I had a really great time with my brother and his kids. Boy they sure have grown up. I do wish I could visit them more often, or live a little closer to each other so we could. Such is life huh? I think M&M really enjoyed having the kids around as well. They would go out and run around with her. But I think she was really happy to have "her" house back.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

I'm so excited!

My brother and his family are coming to my house this weekend!!! I haven't seen him in about 2 years or so. Granted I know that the primary visit is to see mom while she's still with us, but still I get to see and visit with him too!!

And boy is the house gonna be crowded! My brother and his wife have 4 girls! Plus to make it easier on all of us and to make the best of our time my mom will just stay with us instead of going back to the nursing home she lives in. AND my sister will also just stay over... again a full house!

I think that M&M will just love having all the girls around. Of course she's still massively shedding her winter coat so we've been vaccuming just about nightly.

Mr. M is happy about everyone coming as well and he wants to make sure that everyone is taken care of. But I know that he's dreading having 10 people total in the house. It's only a few days so I think we'll survive. I just don't want there to be any downers about it.

So 4 days and counting! :-)

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Happy V-Day! (afternoon update)

I got the BEST Valentines Day "gift" from my hubby...

We don't really celebrate this "holiday" because we think it's really crap. But he surprised me this morning with "I Love You because... 100 reasons and counting".

He had some funny things in there and some very sweet things, sorry I won't share! :-)

I think this is the best thing I've ever gotten because I know it takes much thought and time to do it.

Anywho, hope everyone has a great day!

Love you Mr. M!

Update:

Well it looks like Mr. M went ahead and sent me some flowers to work. They were soo unexpected. And I have to say I love them so much more in this simple arrangement than the normal dozen rozes only that most received.

Well done honey!

~ Wolf Lover Girl

No longer alone

Sis and I moved mom on Sunday into a Nursing Home. It's a good thing as I mentioned in an earlier post so that she's not alone. We didn't take much because we hadn't seen it before we moved her and we didn't know how much space she would have. And I'd have to say that was the only thing we didn't like is that there isn't much space. Well that and there are no outlets that she can use to plug in her own tv and a fan. There are 2 plugs on her side of the room and both of them are being used for her bed (machine things they use).

She does have a roommate and we expected that; however she moans all the time so that's a little annoying. The nurse was saying that maybe one of them could move to another room so it won't bug mom.

We did bring a few little decoration items and put them up as best as we could. Helped organize all her drawers to put her things where she could get to them easily. I gave her a little "house warming" gift - a cute little stuffed dog. She thought he was cute and of course he's very cuddly.

Before she moved we asked the social worker to find a place that was close to either me or my sister or in between both of us so it would be easier on us to see her (especially with gas prices going up). They found one close to me. I figure that I'll go and "kidnap" her on Thursday nights so she can watch Survivor and Lost with us. Be nice to get her out of there at least once a week.

Sis and I are taking a few days off work next week to go and clean out her "old" place. Of course I'm not really looking forward to that, but I guess we have to do it.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

3 to 6 months

Mom has decided to no longer take her cancer pill. She's been unable to eat and feeling nauseated again. And now she's been feeling light headed and that makes her worry about doing things because she's afraid she will faint or something. We're not sure if its the medicine or the cancer that is causing all this or a combination of both. Plus she's still in pain so has to take her hydrocodeine to make it stop, which of course just makes her sleep all the time.

So she's decided she's not doing it anymore. It's not a way to live. So now we're trying to locate a nursing home that she can go into that will cook for her and someone can be around and check on her if necessary. Then when the time gets closer she can go into a hospice.

Mom talked to her cancer Dr. yesterday to let her know that she stopped the pill and asked for a time frame. So as of now they say 3-6 months.

I've now got copies of all her paperwork (will and such) and she's telling me to start thinking of things that I want. Of course me, sis and brother will be very civil in distributing anything that she has and any of us want.

Sis and I are trying to get her into a home that is closer to us (right now it's a bit of a drive to get to her place) so it will be easier to see her. Since she no longer has her dog she said she wanted a stuffed dog to "keep her company". What a perfect time of the year to request a stuffed animal with Valentines right around the corner.
:-) I did grab one today and I figure I'll give it to her when she moves into her "new place" as a little welcoming gift. He's sooo soft.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Released!

Well mom was released from the hospital on Tuesday. She seemed more aware of what was going on and everything so that was good. Sis and I went together to pick her up and brought her back to sis's place. I stayed until about 10pm to help get her all settled and let sis grab something to eat.

I had already requested Wednesday (today) off before we even realized she was coming home just so I could catch up on some rest. I could have slept more, but I can't complain I got more than I've had in awhile. Then I did the fun task of bills - yeah! And then went over to sis's place to spend time with them.

Sis is working from home the next few days to help watch over mom. Mom was very responsive today. Talking clearer and ate a little. She even got up and walked the apartment a little like she's supposed to. So hopefully she's on a great road to recovery.

~ Wolf Lover Girl

Mom Update - 1/8/2008

Well it's been a long weekend. Sis and I went up there Friday/Saturday and Sunday. She's got a bit of pnemonia (sp) because she wasn't getting up and walking around. They've taken a cat scan to see if she has any internal bleeding because her blood count was low. As of today they said the blood count was good but they still want to see the results of the cat scan.

She's had depression before and this isn't really helping. She's not really talking to us much when we try to get her to talk. Mostly mumbles to us. I understand the first day after surgery because she was on major drugs but she's off of them now.

As of now they say she might be released in a day or two... we'll see.

~ Wolf Lover Girl