I always find it kind of funny when I drive by someone on the side of the road with their hood up (ok, that's not the funny part). But that they have some sort of "for sale" sign on the car.
Okay, you're trying to sale the car but you're pulled over with the hood up which obviously means something is wrong with the car - what's the phone number to call you right up and purchase?
Right!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Too dependent?
This proves we have become far too dependent on our computers.
1) Are you male or female? To find out the answer, look down....
Look down, not scroll down.... hee hee. :-)
1) Are you male or female? To find out the answer, look down....
Look down, not scroll down.... hee hee. :-)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
XXX Peep Show!
Warning! The following image might not be suitable for those with a low tolerance of sugar.
~ Wolf Lover Girl
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Almost Friday Funny
Someone in my office sent this to me today and I just had to share.
Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.
1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't goingas ghosts but as mattresses?
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
4. Is there another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a planecrash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone willclean them?
10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remainsilent?
11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys andapes?
13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Strange Questions That Will Always Remain Unanswered.
1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't goingas ghosts but as mattresses?
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
4. Is there another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a planecrash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone willclean them?
10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remainsilent?
11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys andapes?
13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Friday, July 27, 2007
Simpson's - The Movie
Okay, I'm not a big Simpson's fan. Actually I never watched the show until I met Mr. M. But we went to watch the movie today and I tell you what.... it's funny as hell!!!! You crack up the entire time. Of course I won't mention anything from the movie that you probably haven't seen on a commercial. My only advice... do stay till the credits are done. :-)
Oh and one last thing...
Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does... look out! Here comes a spider pig!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Oh and one last thing...
Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does... look out! Here comes a spider pig!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Monday, June 25, 2007
Fun Quote
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
----------------------------
I've been away for about a week, not really away just not at my desk. Well it's raining - again - and my cable is out so I figured I'd play catch up. Got a few blogs I need to visit, maybe say a few words of my own...
----------------------------
Speaking of cats above, C-Girl has been very interesting lately. All weekend she has been sitting in my lap. Okay, this cat is not my "lovable" cat, she's my talker. But everytime I sat down she'd crawl up in my lap, clean herself, curl up and sleep. When I got home today I was sitting in front of the tv (before we lost it) she crawled up in my lap. Just funny.
----------------------------
Man oh man I had way too many adult beverages on Friday night. I had a recipe for a yummy martini I had at a restaraunt a few months back and brought it with me. Well they said they could make it b
ut it was gonna cost like $20 or something crazy. So we downsized. I had about 4-5 martinis on Friday.... I don't drink like that. When we got home (luckily this is one of those nights that Mr. M did not get toasted) I did pray a bit to the porcelein god {here's a funny story... when we moved in I noticed that our toilets are called "church", so I'm literly praying to the porcelein god... hee hee} Anywho, Mr. M helped me out of my clothes and into bed.
ut it was gonna cost like $20 or something crazy. So we downsized. I had about 4-5 martinis on Friday.... I don't drink like that. When we got home (luckily this is one of those nights that Mr. M did not get toasted) I did pray a bit to the porcelein god {here's a funny story... when we moved in I noticed that our toilets are called "church", so I'm literly praying to the porcelein god... hee hee} Anywho, Mr. M helped me out of my clothes and into bed. I woke up about 6:30 in the morning because M&M needed to go out so I stumble downstairs and let her out. I grab a midol and drink some gatorade. I stumble back upstairs to bed... I was still swirling and all that activity made me hot. I literly wasted my Saturday because of Friday night.
Well that happens to me maybe once a year so I guess I'm good.
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Funny...
This was sent to me at work and I thought it was a little funny so had to share. My favorite is #7. Enjoy!
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left handout..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"..
12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that myhead is not up there?"
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left handout..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"..
12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that myhead is not up there?"
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
High Water Bill
This is just incredible.
Must read the following first before watching video below.
Jennifer and Luke kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual usage, and no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continued. Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for leaks or problems: first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice maker, etc. - all to no avail. One day Luke was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running downstairs. He finally tore himself from his sick bed to investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills. Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home. Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem' for posterity...
Video of high water bill problem.
Isn't that just the funniest?
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Must read the following first before watching video below.
Jennifer and Luke kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual usage, and no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continued. Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for leaks or problems: first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice maker, etc. - all to no avail. One day Luke was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running downstairs. He finally tore himself from his sick bed to investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills. Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home. Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem' for posterity...
Video of high water bill problem.
Isn't that just the funniest?
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Classroom funny
I was telling this story to my best friend the Queen P and she told me I had to put this on my blog... so here goes.
I work in the Training Department at my company. Now I mostly just write materials and make sure our training databases are up to date. However I do eventually teach classes.
A few years ago I started a New Hire class. We use several systems and one of them holds all of our information on our clients. Although we're in class and working in a training environment I try to get the class used to signing out of this system every time they leave their computer. Because when they get to the floor if they leave it up someone could potentially come in behind you and commit fraud but it would be under their ID. Unfortunately this has happened so I try to get them in the habit as early as I can.
Well to help make New Hire a little more fun the class is split into groups. In the morning we do review of all the materials that have been covered and they earn points for correct answers. At the end of New Hire the group with the most points wins a prize. However there is a small catch, everytime you leave your computer and I go around and check and see you haven't signed off that one system you get points taken away from your group.
It's like day 2 of this 4 week training and I haven't gotten to really know them yet. Don't know all of their personalities yet, certainly haven't memorized their names completly. There's this one girl who on every break/lunch has to explain to me why she got something wrong or said what she said during class. Okay. So they go on break and I walk the classroom as I always do taking down names of those who forgot to log off their system. Of course she's one of them. Now I don't put it on the board who left their system up but I make it obvious to that person so when they get back they know. I do make marks on the board of how many points were removed from that team so the whole team will know...
So there's still time left in their break and this girl comes back in and notices that I took points away from her team because she left her system up. So she has to come tell me why she didn't sign off... Ready? :-)
Her: "I'm sorry I didn't turn off my system when we went to break I really had to go to the restroom".
Me: "That's okay, when Mother Nature calls you have to answer, just remember to log off next time, no big deal"
Her: "No you don't understand I really had to go to the restroom.... See when I sneezed a little earlier my tampon came out"
Me: ...... speachless.... "Um, Okay.... I've never heard of that happening before...."
Okay... now it's day 2 or something. I don't know you! I don't want to know this! I don't think that I would want to hear that from my best friend!!!
Oh... I'm not done yet. :-) So I'm out with my department some time after this class has ended and I'm telling my department about this. After the laughter dies down (except from my Director she's putting her face in her hands) the wise-cracks start. The only one I can remember is one of the guys (we'll call him Mark) says that her name is shooter. Because she sneezes and her tampon will fly out and bounce off everything like a stray bullet. LOL!!
So about a week later we're at our desks and I sneeze. Mark rolls back from his desk and looks and me and asks, "everything okay?" LOL!!!! "yep, thanks!"
Sigh. I stil call her shooter. I couldn't even tell you her real name now. Funny!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
I work in the Training Department at my company. Now I mostly just write materials and make sure our training databases are up to date. However I do eventually teach classes.
A few years ago I started a New Hire class. We use several systems and one of them holds all of our information on our clients. Although we're in class and working in a training environment I try to get the class used to signing out of this system every time they leave their computer. Because when they get to the floor if they leave it up someone could potentially come in behind you and commit fraud but it would be under their ID. Unfortunately this has happened so I try to get them in the habit as early as I can.
Well to help make New Hire a little more fun the class is split into groups. In the morning we do review of all the materials that have been covered and they earn points for correct answers. At the end of New Hire the group with the most points wins a prize. However there is a small catch, everytime you leave your computer and I go around and check and see you haven't signed off that one system you get points taken away from your group.
It's like day 2 of this 4 week training and I haven't gotten to really know them yet. Don't know all of their personalities yet, certainly haven't memorized their names completly. There's this one girl who on every break/lunch has to explain to me why she got something wrong or said what she said during class. Okay. So they go on break and I walk the classroom as I always do taking down names of those who forgot to log off their system. Of course she's one of them. Now I don't put it on the board who left their system up but I make it obvious to that person so when they get back they know. I do make marks on the board of how many points were removed from that team so the whole team will know...
So there's still time left in their break and this girl comes back in and notices that I took points away from her team because she left her system up. So she has to come tell me why she didn't sign off... Ready? :-)
Her: "I'm sorry I didn't turn off my system when we went to break I really had to go to the restroom".
Me: "That's okay, when Mother Nature calls you have to answer, just remember to log off next time, no big deal"
Her: "No you don't understand I really had to go to the restroom.... See when I sneezed a little earlier my tampon came out"
Me: ...... speachless.... "Um, Okay.... I've never heard of that happening before...."
Okay... now it's day 2 or something. I don't know you! I don't want to know this! I don't think that I would want to hear that from my best friend!!!
Oh... I'm not done yet. :-) So I'm out with my department some time after this class has ended and I'm telling my department about this. After the laughter dies down (except from my Director she's putting her face in her hands) the wise-cracks start. The only one I can remember is one of the guys (we'll call him Mark) says that her name is shooter. Because she sneezes and her tampon will fly out and bounce off everything like a stray bullet. LOL!!
So about a week later we're at our desks and I sneeze. Mark rolls back from his desk and looks and me and asks, "everything okay?" LOL!!!! "yep, thanks!"
Sigh. I stil call her shooter. I couldn't even tell you her real name now. Funny!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Marriage Jokes
My friend sent these to me and I had to share. I thought them funny since I just celebrated my 1st year anniversary! :-)
Joke #1
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #2
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #3
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #4
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And this one is my favorite, it made me crack up out loud - it's called "The Silent Treatment"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Joke #1
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #2
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #3
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke #4
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And this one is my favorite, it made me crack up out loud - it's called "The Silent Treatment"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Wii Dancing Video
This is the funniest video I have seen in so long. I've watched it several times now and it cracks me up evertime.
It's from YouTube and it's some music video from another country and someone put sub titles on it making fun of the wii. The best part to me is the "wii butchery, wii guitar and wii Michael Jackson". Oh and the guy looks like George Michael, when I first tried to play it for Mr. M that's who he thought it was.
Freaking funny!!!! Enjoy!!!!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
* wii growl *
It's from YouTube and it's some music video from another country and someone put sub titles on it making fun of the wii. The best part to me is the "wii butchery, wii guitar and wii Michael Jackson". Oh and the guy looks like George Michael, when I first tried to play it for Mr. M that's who he thought it was.
Freaking funny!!!! Enjoy!!!!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
* wii growl *
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