It's Not Looking Well...

So mom called me on Friday (well technically it was Saturday) morning at about 3:30am saying she was in a lot of pain again and could I take her to the ER. So I got dressed and drove out to pick her up. Took her to the ER and luckily we didn't even have to sit in the waiting room, we went immediately to the back.

Evidently she hadn't been eating in about 2-3 days and she'd been nautious but of course there was nothing to come up. And then she was in pain but she couldn't take any of her medicine because she had nothing on her stomach and even if she took something she would just throw it up anyway.

Everyone we were in contact with at the ER was extremely nice and helpful. They gave her some medicine (found out later it was Morphine) for the pain and some medicine to settle her stomach. It went into effect immediatly! Boy was she loopy!

She finally got admitted to a room around 3pm. When they finally got her all set up with IV's to help with her dehydration I finally went to call my sister and brother. I didn't immediatly get a hold of my brother but I did my sister.

I had to give them the other news that my mom had given to me while we were waiting in the ER. She finally got some of her test results back from previous appointments. She has 3 big masses and 2 are for sure cancerous. There's another in her back that they aren't for sure yet but they pretty much think that it is as well and they think that it's a result of her breast cancer she had many years ago.

She's not really wanting to fight it. She said that she fought it back when we were kids because we were still kids. But now she's ready to go. When it's time she wants to go to a hospice to live out her days. There's a leasion (or something) on her liver or kidney, I can't remember which, and she kept telling the nurses last night that if that was for sure going to kill her that she didn't want any other tests ect done on the rest of the stuff... there's no reason. I did ask her if they've given her a timeframe and they haven't.

Sis did come out last night and stayed with her for a while. I finally went home after stopping first at moms to walk her dog. Her neighbors came out to ask for an update. They got worried about her when they hadn't heard or seen her all day. So they called the police and had them go in and check out her place. Then they had the police call around to see if they could find her and that's how they got the number to her room to call and check on her. Mom has a friend that will hopefully take the dog. I would offer it up but I don't think that M&M would take it well. Sis lives in an apt so that won't work. I finally got home about 10pm or so. Ate, took a shower and went to bed. Oh and did get a hold of my brother and filled him in as well.

We went back out for a few more hours today. She was doing and looking really well. The medicine really helped her. She was able to eat and they gave her some medicine last night to help her sleep. she said she slept so good, they woke her up about 5am to take some blood and she was able to go back to sleep.

She's supposed to have an Onocologist and Eurologist (Dr's) come see her tomorrow. I'd like to be here but they (nurses) dont' know what time they'll actually be there. so tomorrow will be played by ear. I already had the day off because mom had a scheduled appt to see a Dr. and I was taking her in to see them.

And how am I about all this? Surprisingly I'm doing ok. I am upset about the fact that I will loose my mother, but I also know how much pain she has been in lately and I know it won't get any better. Of course I sit back and wish that I'd spent more time with her doing stuff... I assume that as the time really comes near it will be harder for me, but for now I guess maybe I'm just numb.

~ Wolf Lover Girl